Is it Time for Matriarchy? | The Check-In - March 13, 2026
Me, 3/3/26, Grover Beach, California
Letter
Dear Reader,
This is a new thing I’m starting to share what I’m reading, thinking, consuming, and sometimes dreaming.
Last weekend, I got to meet my new baby nephew, Lachlan Cebulla, born 2/18/26 to my brother and his wife. I spent time with their other son, Soren, who is 3 years old, and watched him struggle with the transition of sharing what used to be the full and complete attention of his parents. “The pediatrician told us it’s like he’s going through a death—the death of the life he had.”
He was much more combative than usual, his voice was a few decibels higher, and normal games that he enjoyed, like being chased around the kitchen island, suddenly provoked him to tears.
This got me thinking about how tough transitions are. The liminal space between a job we’ve left and the one we’re about to start. Between romantic relationships, between homes, between singledom and marriage, between high school and college…
A life coach, Ron, with whom I worked in New York City, who, with his long white beard, looked like Gandalf but with a baseball cap instead of a wizard’s hat, used to say to me, “When one door closes, another one opens…but waiting in the hallway is hell.”
When life things change, it’s the death of an old self, and I think many of us don’t realize that we still have an inner toddler who can’t handle it and wants to scream and flail.
At the moment, it feels as though society may be shedding some old ways, but we’re stuck in the ambiguous hell of the hallway. I loved the recent post by “Design Mom” Gabrielle Blair on men being the secondary sex. Patriarchy goes against nature, she argued. The post was so cohesive, compelling, and popular that it led her to land a book deal to elaborate fully on her argument.
Patriarchy seems to be destroying life as we know it, Blair argues. We can see and feel it. To understand how patriarchy formed and how it created the first system of enslavement by viewing children as commodities and women as the means to produce the commodities, making marriage a monetary transation, check out the book The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lerner.
I made this TikTok video about Dr. Lerner’s book 3 years ago and it has nearly 200k views:
Do you think we’re transitioning out of patriarchy, domination systems, capitalism, and exploitation? Matriarchy is the idea of putting children, communities, and our home planet first with an emphasis on care. I’m ready for a society based on mutual care. Are you?
Check out these books by Riane Eisler on care/partnership vs domination and matriarchy vs patriarchy:
Lunar Eclipse 3/3 3:33 AM Pacific Time
There was a special full lunar eclipse on 3/3 at 3:33 AM Pacific time. I got up at 3:15 and set my Canon 80D DSLR camera with a Canon EF-S 55-250mm F4-5.6 is STM lens ($350) on a tripod and took a few photos and this video, which is sped up. “This event is a "blood moon" because Earth passes directly between the sun and the moon, casting its shadow on the lunar surface and causing it to appear red as sunlight filters through Earth's atmosphere.”
It was thrilling to be out at this hour of silence under a full red moon and eclipse. I felt like I had the world to myself.
Blogs this period:
No new blogs, but check out one of my favorites: Konya, Turkiye, where I saw whirling dervishes in 2024.
Instagram videos:
Warmly,
Alison
Action Item:
Brick your phone.
My brother got me a Brick for Christmas. You tap your phone to it, and it freezes social media apps or whatever apps you want to not use. Tap your phone against it again to unBrick. I’ve been using Brick on weekends, and it’s a nice break.
I’ve used Opal in the past, too, to freeze social apps, and I liked it.
Reading, watching, and listening to:
Watching.
I have been watching The Pitt with my dad the past few weeks. I never watched ER or Gray’s Anatomy—no medical dramas—this one is my first. It’s addicting! The fast pace of the emergency room with life-or-death cases feels like taking drugs.
The Pitt is on HBO. It’s very good! They cover every possible social issue: violent patients, transgender, mass shootings, child abuse, human trafficking, teen fentanyl overdose…they cover it all. The characters and actors are compelling. I highly recommend it. It’s gruesome at points, but I always look away. I have no stomach for watching surgeries.
Reading.
I’m listening to “Unlocking Italian with Paul Noble” on Audible to learn some Italian language.
I’m also practicing using an app called Rocket Language. I like this app more than DuoLingo because it has real lessons—it’s not just random.
I’m heading back to Italy next week!
Paul Noble’s teaching style is well-attuned to how the brain really thinks and learns. I highly recommend his language audiobooks.
Buying/Using:
Hair care.
When it comes to learning how to make my hair look acceptable, I wanted to share some videos I discovered years ago that I still follow today. They’re by influencer Mimi Ikonn, owner/founder of hair extension company Luxy Hair. I’m not a hair extension type of gal—too high maintenance, but I follow her hair styling tips for my natural hair.
I’m a naturally low-maintenance girl when it comes to beauty things. So these tips are for my fellow nerds—those of us who would rather read books than focus much on make-up.
These two hair style tutorials are truly what I use day-to-day.
How to blow-dry your hair:
How to curl your hair in 2 minutes:
